tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839543365284759180.post2293300217936007860..comments2024-03-25T22:38:36.313-07:00Comments on Narcissistic Parents!!!: Your Child Has a Narcissitic Father (or Mother)Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00794686686970512454noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839543365284759180.post-39035780557021185032011-09-22T09:43:52.243-07:002011-09-22T09:43:52.243-07:00My non-n-parent mostly told me to "Get over i...My non-n-parent mostly told me to "Get over it" when I grew up. Great-but what I've learned is that the words coming out of the n-parent's mouth is extremely hurtful. I used to tell myself it wasn't. Now I've learned to be aware of actions and words that I don't like, and to deal with it in kind. At least that way, there will hopefully be less resentment.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839543365284759180.post-21148880625759508682010-09-09T09:04:04.808-07:002010-09-09T09:04:04.808-07:00This is exactly what I have been looking for. Two ...This is exactly what I have been looking for. Two months ago I separated from my N husband after he overdosed on his medication. Being so fed up,I confronted him about his ongoing selfish behavior and tried to tell him yet again how much pain this has caused me. Well, of course it had to be all about him, so he reached deep into his bag of tricks and pulled this stunt. He is perfectly fine now and somewhat proud of himself. No one will be surprised to hear that his whole family is this way, and I'm sure many of you empathize w/ me for what I've gone thru the past 22years. So after much soul searching I am at peace with this, because for many years I coudn't put my finger on what was wrong. Finally I had an answer, narcissism. My two daughters are happy well adjusted kids, and I want to make this process of divorcing him as humane as possible for everyone. Your advice is extremely helpful, and I'll be on here regularly! Thru all the difficulties,I acknowledge that my husband was a child that had been wronged beyond repair, for this I pray that he will find peace in the afterlife. Better yet if there is such a thing as reincarnation,I hope his soul will find parents who truly will love him the way God intended. Wishing you all strength and peace. D.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839543365284759180.post-76257945549332566672010-01-22T02:15:01.945-08:002010-01-22T02:15:01.945-08:00My best advice is to get everyone in on it. Tell e...My best advice is to get everyone in on it. Tell everyone that the other parent is a narcissist, what to expect and what the appropriate response is. People to tell may include: teachers, custody lawyer/legal representation, day care staff, the parents of the child's friends, child's doctor/therapist etc. That way, you have completely surrounded the child with healthy people who understand your situation and will be able to identify any behavior that is inappropriate or destructive. Children do not spend 100% of their time with us, so getting as many allies is crucial!<br /><br />I have cancer and my N-parents love to push the envelope/get attention during my visits. So, I simply told the staff about them and that I do not wish to have them in the room with me. The staff made up some excuse and when my N-father tried to barge in during my treatment, the staff threatened to call security because he would not comply with "policy". <br />The key is just to get people's attention. They become more sensitive to the behavior when you say, "My ex-husband is a narcissist who displays very inappropriate behaviors. *explain and identify behaviors*. I wanted you to know in case he acts inappropriately in front of me, the other staff, my child etc. If _____ happens, this is what you say/do:_________" More often than not, when people hear the word 'narcissist', they will help shield you from the destructive behavior of the N-parent. Just remember, the only things you can change are: yourself and your environment. You cannot change a N-person!<br /><br />At home, having an open discussion about the other parent's behavior is not a bad idea. The point is not to bad mouth the other parent or make it a personal therapy session, but to explain to the child what to expect. It is okay to tell the child that the other parent is inappropriate. If any feelings come up, explore them through mirroring and validate those feelings. Acknowledge and honor the child's desire to know the other parent and remember that they have less experience with relationships than you do.Susienoreply@blogger.com